Monday, May 31, 2004

My Tantrum at Life... 

Somebody please take me out of this game.
I don't want to play anymore...

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 4:59 PM

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Sunday, May 30, 2004

An email not meant to be sent... 

If you think women find hilarious being called stupid or idiot, I do not know what type of women you have been talking to. Definitely, I am not one of them. It might not be mistaken to treat them as if they were simple-minded but something tells me it is not right either. It is not a matter of ego, it is a matter of respect.

But then again, respect and the ability to develop emotional bonds with other people is something you learn when you are a child. It is something you learn from your parents. Even when I know your parents were really mean to you, that is not an excuse. In a way you think you are superior to everyone and yet, you cannot even overcome your traumas. Hopefully you do realize that your emotional ignorance leads no where.

True, I might be inept when approaching people but that does not mean I am unable to achieve closeness. Admittedly, the problem is not that you are who you are. The problem is I think I love who you are.

One thing is clear though...I cannot [or have to] deal with someone who loves me today, loves me not tomorrow. Emotional distress is not my idea of fun or adventure. Unfeignedly, I do not need to become emotionally frigid or to throw a tantrum at 'love' because of an unpleasant and meaningless relationship.

I want passion, I want honesty, I want ecstasy, I want rapture...

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 1:30 PM

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'Keiner liebt mich' Revisited 

When dealing with a heartache, nothing better than having a soup with croutons made with his/her picture. Once defecated, surely forgotten.

Luckily for you & unluckily for me, .gifs, .jpgs, & .bmps cannot be torn into shreds.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 12:10 AM

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Saturday, May 29, 2004

And I am... 

Waiting for sublime feelings.

Waiting for enlightening thoughts.

Waiting for divine illumination.

Waiting for some realism among fatuity.

Waiting for the logical disambiguation.

Waiting for a paroxysm to come.



Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 8:54 AM

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Friday, May 28, 2004

[Removed by the author.]

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 12:50 PM

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Thursday, May 27, 2004

We do not want the same but we are looking in the same direction.

We want the same but we are not looking in the same direction.

If we do not want the same, we also want to go to the same place.

If we want the same, then we do not want to go to the same place.

You like direction but I like right and you like left.


Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 8:30 PM

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Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Song Performance in Three Acts 

Act I- Because I love you

This morning, I woke up with this feeling
I didn't know how to deal with
And so I just decided to myself
I'd hide it to myself
And never talk about it
And didn't I go and shout it
When you walked into my room.
"I think I love you!"


Love is better than a warm trombone when blown
softer by a two tone brother
Down on luck by chance
Caress the head to find the boogaloo trance


You're just too good to be true
can't take my eyes out of you
you'd be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much


I was never good at hiding anything
my thoughts break me
do you understand what you mean to me
you are my faith


I... I came here by day,
but I left here in darkness
And found you, found you on the way
And now, it is silver and silent,
it is silver and cold
You, in somber resplendence, I hold

Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one
Your sins into me
As a rapturous voice escapes,
I will tremble a prayer
And I'll beg for forgiveness
Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one


So if you're lonely
You know I'm here waiting for you
I'm just a crosshair
I'm just a shot away from you
And if you leave here
You leave me broken, shattered I lie
I'm just a crosshair
I'm just a shot then we can die


Here in your arms where the world is impossibly still
With a million dreams to fulfill
And a matter of moments until the dancing ends.


You were so sweet and I was in love
Oh darling don't tell me
You found another girl
Forget the flowers
Because the flowers
Never last for ever
Never last for ever
Never last for ever
My love


Act II- Because I hate you

I hate everything about you
Why do I love you?


Don't just stand there
watching it happening
I can't stand it
Don't feel it


You should have seen
The curse that flew right by you


It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
for handing you a heart worth breaking


Mark the spot you hate with an X
Then shoot your bow and arrow
shoot your bow and arrow...
Do your worst get it all off your chest
I'll hold my breath and swallow


And if you need to know while I'm still standing you just fade away

I'd like to think that all of this constant interaction
Is just the kind of make you drive yourself away
Each simple gesture done by me is counteracted
And leaves me standing here with nothing else to say

Completely baffled by a backward indication
That an inspired word will come across your tongue
Hands moving upward to propel the situation
Have simply halted
And now the conversation's done


Now I'm lost
it's been said
long time ago
you'll be the first
and last to know
you'll never know


Baby you're lost
Baby you're lost
Baby you're a lost cause


Act III- Because I need to forget

Always, no sometimes, think it's me, but you know I know when it's a dream. I think I know I mean a "Yes" but it's all wrong, that is I think I disagree

I never meant to cause you trouble,
And I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
O no, I never meant to do you harm.


Back to the howling old owl in the woods,
Hunting the horny back toad.
Oh I've finally decided my future lies
Beyond the yellow brick road


A stick, a stone, it's the end of the road,
It's the rest of a stump, it's a little alone,
It's a sliver of glass, it is life, it's the sun...

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 2:12 PM

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Tuesday, May 25, 2004

It is not that I feel too much... 



...you just do not feel enough.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 7:28 PM

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Monday, May 24, 2004

The Best Non-Reflection of Myself 

Last night I read my archives.

It was eerie.

I could hardly recognize myself.

While reading them I could not help asking myself,

'Is this really who I am?'

'My' words did not seem mine after all.

You ask what my blog is...

My blog is my own Encomium Moriae.

Or Laus Stultitiae, if you prefer.

Simply put, my blog is my own Ithaca.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 2:33 PM

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A Roma seppellita in sue rovine... 

Tu cerchi Roma a Roma, o pellegrino
E in Roma stessa Roma piu non trovi;
son cadaveri i muri che eran nuovi,
e tomba di se stesso e l'Aventino.

Giace dove regnava il Palatino;
e corrose dal tempo, le medaglie
mostrano piu rovine di battaglie
del tempo andato, che blason latino.

Solo il Tevere resta, e la corrente
Che la citta bagno, qui, sepoltura,
La piange con funesto suon dolente.

Oh Roma! In tua grandezza bella e pura
Fuggi quel che era fermo, e solamente
Il fuggevole sta, rimane, e dura.

-Francisco de Quevedo

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 2:31 PM

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Sunday, May 23, 2004

'Life is a Dream' 

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Saturday, May 22, 2004

Socially Clumsy 

Removed by the author.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 5:29 PM

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Friday, May 21, 2004

Not only they are the stupidest noisy kids I have encountered, but they also have extremely low '1.618' standards. Plus there were boys next to me throwing popcorn, yelling and making comments. Stupid comments, of course. So, I do blame their parents for their stupidity, & mine too for bringing me up in a manner that I just cannot tolerate perfectly happy, uneducated, & normal -thus stupid- behaviors.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 6:37 PM

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Thursday, May 20, 2004

Thought vs. Strenght 

Deleted

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 6:23 PM

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Wednesday, May 19, 2004

78 Words 

In eight words I am:

- Going to write a certain amount of words.

In seven words I am:

- Always right. Except when I am wrong.

In six words I am:

- Not able to write only 78 words.

In five words I am:

- Bored enough to do this.

In four words I am:

- Not doing anything else.

In three words I am:

- Not an incoherency.

In two words I am:

- Consistently inconsistent.

In one word I am:

- Nietzscheswife.



Any mistake?

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 7:07 PM

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Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Postmodern Pessimistic Mood 

Removed by the author.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 8:28 PM

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Monday, May 17, 2004

---

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 9:15 PM

Comments

Flowers 

Comments

Sunday, May 16, 2004

Re-Edition 

The difference between this:



And this:



Is this:

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 6:48 PM

Comments

Saturday, May 15, 2004

Art? 

Comments

...

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 10:10 AM

Comments

Friday, May 14, 2004

Piece de Resistance 

Comments

To do list... 

-Pretend I think.


-Pretend I understand.


-Pretend I know.


-Pretend I feel.


-Pretend I care.


-Pretend I read.


-Pretend I write.


-Pretend I live.







&

eventually...


die.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 6:03 AM

Comments

Thursday, May 13, 2004

[...]

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 1:27 PM

Comments

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Stain Boy 

Comments

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Tea Party For The Outcast
or
It Is Not Only Your Party!
 

Comments

Monday, May 10, 2004

A hundred percent made of: 

Arrogance.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 3:03 PM

Comments

Sunday, May 09, 2004

Family Failing of Philosophers 




All philosophers have the common failing of starting out from man as he is now and thinking they can reach their goal through an analysis of him. They involuntarily think of "man" as an aeterna veritas [something everlastingly true], as something that remains constant in the midst of all flux, as a sure measure of things.

Everything the philosopher has declared about man is, however, at bottom no more than a testimony as to the man of a very limited period of time. Lack of historical sense is the family failing of all philosophers; many, without being aware of it, even take the most recent manifestation of man, such as has arisen under the impress of certain religions, even certain political events, as the fixed form from which one has to start out. They will not learn that man has become, that the faculty of cognition has become; while some of them; while some of them would have it that the whole world is spun out of this faculty of cognition.

Now, everything essential in the development of mankind took place in primeval times, long before the four thousand years we more or less know about; during these years mankind may well not have altered very much. But the philosopher here sees "instincts" in man as he now is and assumes that these belong to the unalterable facts of mankind and to that extent could provide a key to the understanding of the world in general: the whole of teleology is constructed by speaking of the man of the last four millennia as of an eternal man towards whom all things in the world have had a natural relationship from the time he began.

But everything has become: there are no eternal facts, just as there are no absolute truths. Consequently what is needed from now on is historical philosophizing, and with it the virtue of modesty.


Human, All Too Human
[I. Of First and Last Things, 2]

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 5:15 PM

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Saturday, May 08, 2004

On a day like this 

Artlessly I thought I was living on a Spring day.
It is not raining yet, but it will.
It is cold & I am hopeless.

Days like this remind me of my own insignificance.
Days like this remind me of the illusion in transcendence.

& I think to myself,

"If this world is ever going to stop spinning around,
if this world is ever going to lose its orbit,
if this world is destined to have an end,
...it is going to be on a day like this."

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 5:08 PM

Comments

Friday, May 07, 2004

Comments

Thursday, May 06, 2004

[Removed by the author.]

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 9:05 PM

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Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Because I cannot say it better... 

"I raise myself on my elbow, I look at the house, the linden tree, the cradle in which Maria is sleeping. It's a day like any other, and in appearance the sky is blue. But what a desert! Everything is still. Perhaps that stillness in only the silence of my heart. There is no more love in me, for anyone, for anything. I used to think, "The world is vast inexhaustible; a single existence is hardly enough to drink your fill of it." And now, I look at it with indifference; it's nothing but a huge place of exile."

~Simone de Beauvoir, The Mandarins

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 3:13 PM

Comments

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

On Cats: 

Comments

Monday, May 03, 2004

Because I do listen to what you say... 

Comments

Sunday, May 02, 2004

Tribute 

My tribute to those who I read every single day...why?

Because I like the perfect shape you gave me to pour my thoughts into.

Because I like not living without error and poetry.

Because I like one of the gently mad.

Because I like the writer who is trying to find his voice.

Because I like Circe and Wilde.

Because I like non-silent noxturne.

Because I like brains and brians.

Because I like that when I am about to lose the ground & submerge myself into my own private world, you are always there to show me that the multicolored lens through which I see the world, might be stuck or broken.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 3:40 PM

Comments

Saturday, May 01, 2004

... 

This might be completely unethical but I had to post this:

("Laughing out loud's" = LOL)

C: I watched a movie earlier today called Dopamine and it made me think about you. The characters in the story analyzed love and broke it down into chemical changes in the body. However, one question kept coming up: Is that all love is? Is there more to it than that?

Nietzscheswife: Hmm...I wonder the same.

C: There was no answer, but the main character fell in love at the end.

Nietzscheswife: As usual. You know? Reading "The Art of Loving" made me realize it is not "the perfect one", it is "the perfect ones". A while ago now I read about chemistry and the state of...um...how do you say when you feel you are in love? No, I am not referring to stupidity. It has another name too.

C: I'm not sure what state you are referring to. Nebraska?

Nietzscheswife: LOL No. I couldn't find the word to describe it. Anyway, the sensation might be originally produced by chemical changes, but I think there is more to it than that. There are several elements (call it society, neurosis, etc.) which take over once the chemical process begins. Of course, that is just my theory. Btw, I hate sugar.

Nietzscheswife: Oh I was thinking about the word enamoredness. However, it does not make much sense. The one I was referring to does not necessarily have sexual implications.

C: Enamored is a good word. And I think that the chemical love turns into the two people becoming accustomed to each other rather than being "in love".

Nietzscheswife: Hmm...it could be. I have seen couples who have been married for ten years and I think they definitely are together out of habit, or because they think there is no point in going a different way from where they are already. Hmm...I can't seem to express what I want. Too much sugar in my brain. Oh, I was looking for the word futile and I don't know why I related it to frugal.

C: Actually, sugar in your brain is supposed to help you think. Probably too much insulin secretion due to the spike of blood sugar which has decreased the amount of sugar going to your brain. Anyway, I happen to be pretty sure people are together due to habit. I've seen too many couples break up only to get back together a week or two later. They are just used to being around each other after a while.

C: Is that last statement in regards to parsimony?

Nietzscheswife: Yes, it could be.

C: Yes... what could be? Could be habit to stay together, or could be the word parsimony. You really need to work on your clarity.

Nietzscheswife: Oh, I meant people might be together out of habit. It would seem all of them are. However, I can't apply that principle to myself because I don't have the same social and moral background or aspirations, nor I am part of any relationship. Plus, if I thought like that then I would save myself a lot of time. Why bother in pursuing something that is a complicated, emotionally extenuating, and sometimes expensive habit? Nevertheless, what people do is none of my business. They can stab themselves and feed rats with their loins; I don't care either way. Perhaps, I am taking my own enamoredness only for scientific purposes. And yet, it could be either fear to find out it is real, or the fear to know it is produced by mere alienation.

C: Feed rats with their loins?!

Nietzscheswife: Oh...feed their loins to rats.

C: Feed their loins to rats?!

Nietzscheswife: Would "I don't give a fuck about their loins" work better?

C: You could just leave the loins part out entirely.

Nietzscheswife: LOL True.

C: And you could refrain from using the f- word too.

Nietzscheswife: Why should I?

C: The word "fuck" tends to relay to others that you are not only angry, but not intelligent enough to use less ambiguous, more effective language.

Nietzscheswife: First of all, I almost never use it. Second, I have just said I don't really care about what other people say. Third, I have already taken lots of intelligence tests that prove I am intelligent. Since in theory there is no other basis to measure intelligence but tests per se, and I possibly have twice as much IQ as those who think I am not intelligent because of the use I give to words, then why should I care about what they think? Plus, intelligence does not have only one side. There have been scientists who were geniuses but did not know how to express their ideas in a written or an oral form.

C: First, your hubris and lack of modesty are not signs of intelligence. Intelligence tests as with any other tests do not usually pan out in real life situations. And I am not saying you are not intelligent for using the word "fuck" just that it makes you seem less intelligent when you use it.

Nietzscheswife: It was hypothetically speaking. I am not saying I am the most intelligent woman in the world. Hmm...what does modesty have to do with intelligence?

C: Exactly!

Nietzscheswife: Modesty is not a type of intelligence. It is not what matters when you take an IQ test. Intelligence tests are not definite, I know. However, since tests measure intelligence, and I have taken them obtaining a high score, if anyone dared to say I am less intelligent because of my use of language, that person would be mistaken. It might be true that language defines and limits us though. Your "Exactly!" does not make sense. Actually, thinking that people who don't use proper words to express their ideas are wrong or less intelligent, is also wrong from the linguistic point of view. I get your point though. But if we are getting into theories, then it does not make sense.

C: Passing a driving test does not make you a good driver. Intelligence is measured on a daily basis through different situations, not during a couple hours while answering some questions made up by a panel of people who think they know how intelligence can be tested. With that said, I only said using profanity gives the appearance of being less intelligent. There is really no need to become defensive. And you proved my point by saying modesty has nothing to do with intelligence. I was just saying that bragging that you passed some intelligence test does not make you intelligent.

Nietzscheswife: I said I already knew passing IQ tests was relative and not definite.

C: I can't see how the word "fuck" can be used to express an idea. I don't give a fuck doesn't relate anything better than I don't care does.

Nietzscheswife: Who measures intelligence on a daily basis? What is intelligent acting and not intelligent acting? It is relative. To me having a religion is typical in uninformed people. And yet, I know that if they are "uninformed" to me is only because I don't have a religion. I am not getting defensive. I am having an interesting argument with you. I am not taking it personal. On a regular basis, people think of intelligence as something proven with tests. That is why I mentioned that if anyone thought I am less intelligent because of the use I give to language, that is mistaken. Not entirely accurate. There are different types of intelligence. That was my point.

C: Who measures your intelligence on a daily basis? I thought you knew that. Ed Krueger. He goes around and measures everyone's intelligence each hour of the day. He's Santa Clause's cousin, I think. Everyone measures your intelligence on a daily basis. You are evaluated by what you say by everyone you meet. Meet someone new and start stumbling when you talk and you are now an idiot.

Nietzscheswife: Hmm...So if a JW thinks I am dumb because I say I don't believe in God he is right?

C: Yes. To him he is right. He just evaluated your intelligence. Why is his determination of your intelligence less valid than someone else's?

Nietzscheswife: I am not saying it is less valid. It is just something I do not care about. However, it would be less, or more valid considering the point of view you looked at it from. Oh, and I was not bragging.

C: If those who invented the intelligence tests were all JW's and gave you a test on how much you believe in Jesus and God, you would officially be an idiot. (unless you cheated, of course) And if I were to be given an intelligence test which tested my knowledge of color matching and methods for applying facial cream and lipstick, I would be an idiot. Moreso than I already am.

Nietzscheswife: Hmm...I think you do not understand my point. According to linguists, language evolves constantly. To some of them, using determined words is not related to intelligence, but to societal and cultural environments. Neither using the word "fuck" makes me less intelligent, nor using the word "parsimony" will make me more intelligent. So, yes. The use that people give to language is important but not because of an apparent intellectual image. It is important from a cultural perspective.

C: Then I didn't miss what you were saying, you misunderstood what I was saying. I said that your use of "fuck" made you seem ... SEEM (should I say it again?) ... seem! less intelligent. (I repeated it since I had already written it before but you must have skipped over that particular part).

Nietzscheswife: In any case and as you know, judgments cannot be that broad. Throughout history there have been several scholars trying to define both, intelligence and language. They all have a different point of view, so the validity of any theory depends in the position you take; Structural, Cognitive, Evolutionist, Social, etc. It wasn't about what you said on me, it was about what people might think if I use that word or any other word.

C: It almost appears as if you are having a debate with yourself. You are taking my comments, bending them a little and then commenting on the manipulated phrase.

Nietzscheswife: Hmm..it does? All the time I just meant that even if the use I give to words makes me seem or bluntly prove I am not intelligent, that does not mean a judgment on that could be made unless they acknowledged both, intellectual and linguistic theories.

C: I'm not sure what discussion you are on, but it's not the one I am part of. In my discussion, I said that the use of profanity makes other people see you as less intelligent. You are proposing that before they have the right to think that, they should research different intellectual theories and base their assumptions on the intellectual work of others. Sure. I'll be sure to tell them to do more research before making silly assumptions about people's intelligence.

Nietzscheswife: Okay, please do!

C: (Rolls his eyes)

Nietzscheswife: As I said, it is not about intelligence, it is about words.

C: Well, I won't tell everyone. Just my neighbors.

Nietzscheswife: LOL! Especially to the 200 kilogram blonde.

C: Well, she uses too much profanity so I don't think she'll understand what I am saying.

Nietzscheswife: Explain it to her with burgers.

C: Of course. "This thin, squashed burger is a curse word. This big, double-decker burger dripping with grease is a multi-syllable word. Which one do you want to use?"

Nietzscheswife: Exactly. She will understand if you explain it to her like that.

C: Maybe. But she'll probably say something like, "Fuck that small one. Give me that fucking big-ass burger!"

Nietzscheswife: She is going to understand nonetheless.

_________________

As usual, I was in my own little tangent and in the middle of "a-Waiting-for-Godot-like" conversation.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 5:13 PM

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"I know I'll say something that's halfway clever but mostly shallow and probably inaccurate on some level. Then you'll pity me for having been born."

Don DeLillo, Cosmopolis



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