Friday, December 31, 2004

I hate fireworks.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 9:21 PM

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Thursday, December 30, 2004

Domandi come sto? 

Mind in mute.
Heart in stand by.
Hope in off.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 9:29 AM

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Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Migraine again. Pills are not working anymore. Ice is not working anymore. I need another tomography.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 8:09 PM

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Tuesday, December 28, 2004

So tired.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 9:11 PM

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Monday, December 27, 2004

Relating to other people is not something you do very well. You usually justify yourself by thinking that your social ineptitude, your insanity, and your eccentricity are an integral part of your geniality. There is always an excuse.

Your feelings towards other people seem to happen only by accident. However, you have learned that relationships are built. Therefore, whatever you may feel towards other people is far from casualness.

You know love is not a magical moment that will allow you to see everything clear instantly. It is not a miracle and it is not random.

You always choose your lovable subject. If you were in China you would find a subject to love. If you were in Thailand the same would happen. So, it is not as if there was only one person in the whole world with whom you are supposed to fall in love. The possibilities are infinite. So are the circumstances under which the event may happen.

You know it is only natural to allow instincts into the selection process. After all, it is because of them that your need to love emerges. But, you also know love is an emotion and that it is different from every other emotion because it is also an ability.

What you would like?

You would like to find someone with whom you could built a relationship derived from your instinctive need, controlled by your neurotical need, and founded by your intellect. Right?

Hmm...I would sit down if I were you. I would also go back to the bean plant.

It might survive this time.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 9:37 PM

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Sunday, December 26, 2004

Anamnesis 

There are no clean endings in my life. Most of my closure attempts have become openings. There is an eternal 'why'. Surely I have tried tossing these 'why's' away but they appear to be subordinates of pain. I have tried to keep on walking but it is difficult. It is almost as having a little stone in one of your stilettos.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 8:29 PM

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Saturday, December 25, 2004

Not the Grinch... 

It is no big secret that I am not traditional, patriotic, or religious. Unfortunately, there are not many things I believe in ... Christmas happens to be among the objects of my disbelief.

Nevertheless, it is not as if I hated Christmas or New Year's Eve. Although I celebrate neither, I do not hate these days. Actually, I find enjoyment in observing and smelling...this season smells a lot better than other seasons.

Anyway, I am extremely grateful to those who left a message or emailed me to wish me a happy time. My best wishes to all of you.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 9:49 PM

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Friday, December 24, 2004

Dies Natalis Solis Invictus 

You do realize this is what you are celebrating, right?

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 6:40 PM

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Thursday, December 23, 2004

Can I just say that I chose the worst season to come here?

It is beautiful. Too bad I can't go outside. Too cold. I am having a great time, though. Plus, I found a computer...with internet. Isn't it swell?

Anyway, since I could not write anything for the past few days, I decided to fill the empty spaces with some of my favorite quotes. I cheated...I know.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 8:24 PM

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"What then is truth? A mobile army of metaphors, metonyms, and anthropomorphisms: in short, a sum of human relations which have been poetically and rhetorically intensified, transferred, and embellished, and which, after long usage, seem to a people to be fixed, canonical, and binding. Truths are illusions which we have forgotten are illusions -they are metaphors that have become worn out and have been drained of sensuous force, coins which have lost their embossing and are now considered as metal and no longer as coins."

Friedrich Nietzsche, from On Truth and Lie in an Extra-Moral Sense

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 7:34 PM

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Wednesday, December 22, 2004

"The worst readers are those who behave like plundering troops: they take away a few things they can use, dirty and confound the remainder, and revile the whole."

~Friedrich Nietzsche, from Mixed Opinions and Maxims

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 12:04 PM

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Tuesday, December 21, 2004

"I do not by any means know atheism as a result; even less as an event: it is a matter of course with me, from instinct. I am too inquisitive, too questionable, too exuberant to stand for any gross answer. God is a gross answer, an indelicacy against us thinkers--at bottom merely a gross prohibition for us: you shall not think!"

~Friedrich Nietzsche, from 'Why I Am So Clever' in Ecce Homo

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 2:12 PM

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Monday, December 20, 2004

Freudian Inventory Results
Oral (36%) you appear to be stubbornly and irrationally against receiving help even when it might be the more intelligent option.
Anal (83%) you appear to be overly self controlled, organized, and possibly subservient to authority, this effectively narrows your exposure to a wider set of options and ideas lowering the odds that you will make the best decisions in life.
Phallic (60%) you appear to have a good balance of sexual awareness and sexual composure.
Latency (30%) you appear to be overly practical; don't undervalue abstract learning, abstract learning increases your ability to make good decisions (and predictions) in the real world so it would be 'impractical' to shun it.
Genital (66%) you appear to have a progressive and openminded outlook on life unbeholden to regressive forces like traditional authority and convention.
Take Free Freudian Inventory Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 9:44 AM

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Sunday, December 19, 2004

Let the idleness commence... 

Leaving to [...] in a couple of hours...I will not be posting as often as I would like to.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 1:09 PM

Comments

Nietzscheswife: New Year's celebration is not something I believe in. In my 26 years not a single year has been exactly as I expected it to be. But then again, time is never as I expect it to be. It just is. It flows through me pretty much the same way life does.

Nietzscheswife's brother: You have such a sweet face, but when I hear you speaking is just as listening to the good girl in the movie saying the lines of the bad girl.


Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 12:47 PM

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Saturday, December 18, 2004

Emotional Stages 

[Removed by the author.]

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 8:18 PM

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Friday, December 17, 2004

No more Mr. Incredibles with Mojo Jojo's heart.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 7:33 PM

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Thursday, December 16, 2004

To Jelinek 

Dove si nasconde?
L'ansieta sociale, non e errore.
Lei ha detto niente.
Ripete lo stesso avanti fervore.

Dove si nascose?
Esce, maledice, ma non muore.
Lei ha fatto niente.
Ripete l'incoerenza con il cuore.

Elfriede, dove sei?
Domanda la passione di lettore.
Lei non dice niente.
Si nasconde nel video di favore.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 12:33 PM

Comments

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Gynocentricism 

All the time I pretended to be happy. I have tried to remember a moment filled with genuine happiness and there is none. All the time pretending. If I tried to take anything 'positive' out of it that would have to be the self-knowledge I acquired.

It did not teach me anything about friendship. Nor it taught me about love. It was only a reminder of what I have always known.

At first I tried to reconcile. I justified. I tolerated. Mutualist symbioses are all right. Antagonist symbioses are not all right and I am tired of parasites.

It is not about you anymore. Pay attention. It is NOT about you.

It is only about me. I do not care about your reasons for hurting me. I only care about the reasons why I allowed you to hurt me. At this moment, it is exclusively about me.

Some ideals do not deserve materialization. I had an infatuation with an ideal and I made a mistake by materializing it in you.

Call it denial. Call it delusion. It does not matter to me either way.

Victimizers require an invitation. I hate love to break this to you...your invitation has been withdrawn. Do the math. Move along.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 12:43 PM

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Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Breakdown scheduled for: December 18th.

A day before leaving to [... and ... and then to ...] I will finally cry and remind myself what an idiot I can be sometimes. At this moment I have more important things to do though. I am currently learning the 'why' before the 'what'.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 11:20 AM

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Monday, December 13, 2004

Life becomes such an exhausting journey at times. Papers to write can only drive a week completely mad. I am still dragging the heavy Corpses of Memories. The smell of the rotten makes it nearly impossible to breathe. Fortunately once rotten the pieces will fall off...the load will be lighter eventually.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 1:26 PM

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The Route 

"We kill what we love, everything else
has never been alive.
No one is too close. To no other-one hurts
an oblivion, an absence, sometimes less.
We kill what we love.
Let the asphyxia
of breathing with a borrowed lung cease!
The air is not enough
for both of them. And the earth is not enough
for the jointly bodies
and small is the ration of hope
and the pain cannot be shared."

Rosario Castellanos, fragment from "Destiny"

"Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!"

Oscar Wilde, fragment from "The Ballad of Reading Gaol"


The Route is an experiment—conceived in a reduced scenic space—in which the distance between actors and audience is practically nonexistent. Said distance is similar to the quotidian fret in which each of us carries along with a private universe of hopes, mourns, and joys that is stimulated, or ignored by everyone else.

In this setting, the sudden and explosive charge of each individual, and part of the history that we all take with us but hide behind the apparent serenity with which we introduce ourselves to the others, will be attested through its display in front of the viewer.

These two speak today but any of us has his, or her own story to be told; always the same because human nature is one, and millions are the reasons each of us makes up to justify our acts.

Locked up in ourselves, in our quotidian concerns, our problems seem to us the most authentic, our love the real one, our sadness the most complex and wasted one, and our anger the only one with a reason to be. Over here, the universe of two opens to give a glimpse of the place where hope and frustration intersect.

We make of relationships the union of two insatiable appetites that ignore one another and that address to the other one only to demand the fulfillment of the obligations that the promises and good wishes end up converting into. Their appetite is insatiable because if the need is love the nourishment that we provide to ourselves is possession, power, prestige, money, and sex.

What we call tolerance is nothing but the need of dependence: we oblige ourselves to cope with what we find intolerable. Given our intuition over the existence of love, we confuse it with everything. We are moved by an unstoppable need of being liked, of denying to be who one is in order to be accepted. The consequence is that we are not being tolerant but playing to be the victim of somebody else.

F.M., Synopsis of The Route

The Route: Written and directed by F.M.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 1:03 PM

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Sunday, December 12, 2004

By the way, I do not care about what some religious people tell me for there is no Hell. Learn Aramaic. Learn Hebrew. Learn Greek. Learn some history. Read the Bible. Translate correctly. 'Sheol' does not mean Hell.

As for the ones who keep telling me that Jehova is going to bliss me with eternal life in a paradise where all people will inhabit if I follow his 'rules', please stop threatening me. I loathe people, why on earth would I want to live forever with all of them?!

Sounds like a curse to me.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 11:45 AM

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Saturday, December 11, 2004

You are not capable of feeling anything towards anyone. You take pills to relieve your emotional incompetence. You think you are too smart. You think you need no one. You think you know everything. You go out with women and sleep with them even if you do not like them physically or intellectually. You think you are so completely cool.

You think you are a loner by choice...but you also think I am the one with psychological problems.

Although that bothers me, you are partially right.

How else my interest in you could be explained. I obviously have a problem. I am the one who is still not over you. My problem is that I still have not learned to shine among my own kind. I have this bad habit and I end up constantly amidst the merde thinking how singular my radiance is.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 7:08 PM

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Friday, December 10, 2004

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Thursday, December 09, 2004

F.M.: "A greater transgression to reality than a fantasy would be its fulfillment."

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 9:39 PM

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Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Comments

Last month's point of view:

Postmodern Irrationalist.


Current point of view:

Late Romantic-Neoclassic-Postmodern Irrationalist.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 3:52 PM

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Tuesday, December 07, 2004

"The images detached from every aspect of life fuse in a common stream in which the unity of this life can no longer be reestablished. Reality considered partially unfolds, in its own general unity, as a pseudo-world apart, an object of mere contemplation. The specialization of images of the world is completed in the world of the autonomous image, where the liar has lied to himself. The spectacle in general, as the concrete inversion of life, is the autonomous movement of the non-living."

Guy-Ernest Debord, from The Society of the Spectacle

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 8:12 PM

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Monday, December 06, 2004

Requiring the Abouts... 

It does not
require your
daily alienation.

It is not
about your
effortless regression.

It does not
require your
wicked limitation.

It is not
about your
senseless fascination.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 1:21 PM

Comments

Because... 

...trying to 'fix' politics by voting is just about as trying to save a boat from sinking by pouring more water into it.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 1:20 PM

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Victimless Heroes 

Some poems are inspired by life - others by the words of fools.

Don't preach to me
of victims
or life-changing,
mind-altering,
enlightening,
fucking experiences.

Just don't try to be
my new fucking religion
when I never needed one
to begin with,

because...

Your optimism
makes me sick
and the body odor
you emit
reeks of stinking, foul,
sickly, sweet,
fake fucking
positivity.

So...

Don't judge me.

For we are all victims,
the co-dependent
partners of life,
riding our nine-to-five
employment vehicles
into a lego-land building,
offering nothing more than
flourescent-tube sunlight
and fake ventilation,
such poor substitutes
for natural daylight
and fucking
fresh air.

Show me a man
whose childhood dreams
and expectations
turned out to be
all that he hoped
they would be,
or a woman
who married
her prince fucking charming,
in a fairytale
where the ending
came true...

Just look at you...

Preaching to me,
judging me,
while you wallow
like an obese pig
in your own filthy failures
and dirty insecurities,
devouring any kind of slop
thrown outto you.

Fool...

Don't you know
that the only people

who aren't victims
are those who willingly
embrace and fall into
the cool
extended arms
of death
without fear,
second thoughts
or reservations?

How many times
have you tried to die
because you knew
that this world
and humanity
had passed
it's used-by
date?
What was it
that saved you,
yet another failure
or...
Some cruel twist of
fate?

Victimless heroes of war
succeed in dying
far more successfully
than they ever fucking
succeeded in living...

And I
salute them,
respectfully,
with two fingers.

Via Error404

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 1:11 PM

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Sunday, December 05, 2004

Busy

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 9:28 PM

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Saturday, December 04, 2004

Busy

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 6:54 PM

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Friday, December 03, 2004

Scattered notes...but so high. 

The indifference card is on the table;
spades and queens have been played;
cloves and hearts need a new lable;
the game is over; Joker was betrayed.

We could have played these games forever;
eternity would have been spent wherever;
the music seems so loud to you, however;
I could not care less; I say out loud, 'Whatever'.

*

Pause your pace,
Break a leg,
Jump to fall,
There is no space,
Break my heart,
Go build a wall,
Erase your trace.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 6:47 PM

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Comments

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Two Kind Critics of Mine 

Comments

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Permanently High 

No matter what people say to me, I still do not find the poetic side of alcohol and drugs. It is not about morals or anything similar. I could not care less if they think I hold a parochial view. They might say it tastes good but after five or six drinks taste is numb. Scientifically proven. In other words, the 'taste' theory is bullshit. I do not need alcohol to do or say what I want. If alcohol and drugs stimulate a substance in their brains which makes them experience reality as they would not otherwise, I do not need it. I am never sober anyway. Nevertheless, they may keep on drinking/getting high. I know they will do it. I could not care less about that either. I am not the one who looks like an idiot.

Posted by Nietzsche's Wife @ 5:16 PM

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"I know I'll say something that's halfway clever but mostly shallow and probably inaccurate on some level. Then you'll pity me for having been born."

Don DeLillo, Cosmopolis



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